Hi, Spaceman Bye, Spaceman
by Suitable Misnomer
Summary: A proper farewell to the brilliant Donna Noble.


_Nothing on television has ever upset me as much as the rueful fate of Donna Noble - Doctor Donna. I've had the idea for this ficlet for a while, but finally put it down in a Word document around 3 AM a few days into the new year. Donna deserved a proper farewell._

_I'd like to note that this document hasn't been edited since I posted it on my Tumblr about ten minutes after I finished writing it on a winded stream of consciousness. I felt that it was the best way to go about composing this piece._

_Let me know what you think - I'm a big girl - I can take constructive criticism, no worries!_

_- M_

* * *

I got your message.

Your grandfather's message, but yours all the same.

Except you couldn't have even thought it, not because you're wired up to all those bleeping machines in a private hospital suite, but because you have no clue of who I am.

I would know best; after all, I made you that way.

I deprived you, but to save you. And I hate myself every moment for what I've done.

But as I was whizzing about the atmosphere of a planet of highly-evolved, absolute brilliant fish-people with three eyes - and they were singing - oh, they were singing the kookiest and the most beautiful songs I've heard since the Ood. You remember the Ood, right?

Oh, that's right. You don't.

Because I made you forget.

I had to.

And I chose to.

Actually, the TARDIS got your message - your grandfather's message - you know - or, rather, you don't. She picked up something and set off through time and space to bring me back to Earth - away from seas with waves that form prisms as they clap against each other, shooting rainbows into the air. Don't ask how: it's all rather complicated. Knowing you, however, you'd badger me until my ears fell off and your face turned blue - because you simple apes have these primitive respiratory systems. Take it from someone who knows: evolve, already!

Now I'm here, standing feet away from your bedside and noticing how pale and thin you've become. I can't imagine there'd be good food in this place. Nothing like those lava-custard toddies we once shared. I decided to be stupid - which isn't anything knew - and blew a violent puff of air through my straw... and you were soaked and so raving angry.

But then you dumped the rest of it on me, so no harm done.

And we had laughed so hard you thought you'd be the first human being to explode from a bout of the giggles.

You're not laughing now, though. You're not even smiling or talking - and that _is_ a first for you. Miss Motor-Mouth, Queen of the Jib-Jabbers and Floppy-Tongues. My Miss Motor-Mouth, Queen of the Jib-Jabbers and Floppy-Tongues.

Always had something to say, whether I waned to hear it or not.

The silence is breaking my hearts.

Even your gorgeous ginger hair has lost its sheen, and not from age. Age never did a thing to you, you noble woman. Age could never touch you. Time could never touch you. Biology could.

You stupid humans and your stupid blood diseases that you pass on to your children. Infect your progeny. Well done, indeed. Then again, I guess this isn't your fault. Maybe it's mine all along. I tell myself now that even if I had let you keep what I took, your human body could not be treated to recover fully - or at all. Then you'd have known you'd die. You'd know why and when and probably where. You'd have to live with that.

You're still living with it, though. So what was it all for? What was losing you for if I couldn't save you?

You're dreaming. I can tell because I'm me. I can tell what you're doing, but now about what you're dreaming. That's fascinating. Those dreams are all yours. I hope they're good ones.

And now I've got another decision to make. Either way I lose you again. There's no stopping that. The Oncoming Storm can't hold off death - what a joke.

Your grandfather told me he'd been using that telescope to search the skies for me - hoping and praying I'd show up to save you and whisk you off through time and space. We'd be a team once more - forever more. _That_ would be a good dream. A fantastic dream. I'd shout 'Geronimo!' and we'd go careening off - oh, that's right. You've not seen me like this, with this face. You wouldn't even recognize me... if you remembered.

It wasn't fair, he told me after he said he, your mother, and your husband had all said good-bye. It wasn't fair that you were going before him. The young aren't supposed to die before the old. It's funny - and by funny, I mean not funny at all - how humans view life in this way because I've never experienced that. A millennium of living and everyone I love still dies while I just keep blundering on and on.

He's right, though. It's not fair.

It's not fair that you - so magnificent and so amazing - don't even know who I am. To you I'm just some bloke. If you were awake you'd probably be screaming for a nurse thinking I'd come to steal one of your kidneys. Or you'd just be telling me off for it. Yeah. That's it. You'd tell me off for it so proper I'd be apologizing.

As I watch you I hear the heart monitor beeps starting to occur less frequently. Then your eyes mildly flutter open. There you are. There's my girl.

I crouch down at your bedside, so beside myself I want to scream and cry and shout at the skies, but I hold it in. I do it for you. These are your last moments. I want them to be yours and not mine.

I take your hand - it's ice cold - and you're so, so tired.

I'm here, I tell you, not that it means anything to you. I'm here. Then you do something extraordinary - should've known. You focus on me - on my face. You - you perfect, genius person - find me out of the darkness... and the lines on your forehead relax as if you'd set eyes on an old friend you've suddenly remembered.

I'm entirely sure of it because you can trust me - I'm the Doctor.

I grin like I'm a chimp showing my teeth to children at a zoo, not realizing until later my tears are staining the bedsheets.

At last, as you start to drift away from me and from this world, I make my choice. You would have wanted it this way. I caress your face and concentrate. To anyone else, nothing would seem to happen.

But then she speaks with that adorable voice and gives me that old, cheeky smile - it's faint but it's there.

"Hey there, Spaceman."

Then, for the last time, her eyes close and she slips away, her hand growing heavy in mine. And I let myself fall apart in the company of my best, wisest, and truest friend.


End file.
